Suddenly I have this surge of feeling to say something about tonight, and what I feel about it. Tonight is the night that I don't feel like sleeping but to just enjoy it as the time goes by. Perhaps a walk in the park or something. I'm tired and a wee bit sleepy, but I'm not surrendering to the bed yet.
It feels like a flashback, a whiff of a familiar smell from ages past. I remembered this one time when I couldn't sleep around 5 in the morning. I was having insomnia the whole night and I couldn't take it anymore. So I woke up, walked quietly to the door to prevent my brother from waking up. To my surprise he wasn't there. So I walked out and saw the faint light downstairs. Turned out he couldn't sleep too. So we went outside and sat on the porch, talking, enjoying the cool breeze and the sweet familiar smell of the approaching morning. If nostalgia has a scent, this would be it.
And here I am, not willing to sleep because of this smell, this feeling, sunken feeling of memory deep in me. There were many instances where I recognize this smell: when I woke up in the early morning to go to school; when I woke up to follow my father to his farm, when I woke up and early to get to school during practical months. It brings back all these memories that I never knew I had. It feels so familiar that I can't bear to let it go.
Maybe I can blame it on my mild flu, coz it kinda reduced my nose's sensitivity to smell so everything is like a bit muted. I only know that I enjoy this feeling and I'm not gonna let it go just yet.
And it made me think bout the future too. What happens after I graduate? Where will my friends be? Where will I be? I've known these people for six years now. It's like we've grown up together and realizing it all these while. To think that we're gonna be separated so soon? Wow.. Why? Kinda sad to think about. Sigh.
A walk in the park. A glimpse of the moon. The breeze, like little fairies, flying on my skin. Cool, but makes me shiver not. Just enjoy the night.
Reminiscence. Full of joys, regrets, loves, the past, where nothing can be changed and the future, where nothing is known. Maybe that's why I don't want to let go of this feeling. Coz I feel it now, and that's the only certain thing at this moment.
The beautiful night. The silent night. The night to remember. The night, for the past to come alive, dancing around me. The night. The night for me.